felix is back again, i bet you guys must be jumping around to celebrate the return of the greatest ever.

i hate spams and i hate spammers. let's find them, slay them and ship them off to afgahnistan i say. they have wasted our time, clogged up our serves and - like the XXX photos they advertise - delievered less than they promised.

if spams were to be believed, i would have lowered my mortgage till it's zero, been able to spy on everyone's email, brought loads of viagra, added many many many inches to my manhood and have had wild hot crazy sex with college girls online. i would have, i supposed, if i had only replied, but alas, my immidiate reaction to spam is to delete it.

if there are things we can all agree on, they are that singapore won't win the world cup and the world will never win the battle against spam, the great scourge of our modern life.

sometimes in the mid 90's, when internet started taking fold of our live, spammers realised there was big money to be made simply by sending out rubbish to every email address they could get hold of.

the message is : you must have spam. regrettably, you can't have email without spam. and spam and more spam.

despite its invasive nature, here in kiasua-land, spam is vied with interest. in an informal poll in a magazined that i read, people were asked, "what's your attiture towards spam?" you would think the unanimous answer would be to kill all spammers slowly, and with the rusty kitchen knives if possible.

no..

no, no, no, no, no. nothing in this kiasu-lan should surprise you anymore, the things singaporeans do. oddly, only 29 percent answered, "it's just junk to me." but 71 percent - 71!! - responded "it's useful information to me" DEAD.

useful information? what are people gleaning from spam that they aren't being taught in school nowadats?? oh yes, enlarging manhood..

furthermore the poll asked "do you prefer opt out or opt in scheme?"

a delude 75 percent - 75!! - wanted the opt out scheme because "i don't mind knowing all that's out there" DEAD.

but everything is out there already! that's the whole point of the internet; everything - sad bloggers, history of canned spam - is out there.

conceivably, you could troll the internet for 500 years and never finish reading everything that's posted on it. everything is out there, except the advice on getting a life.

but that's singaporeans for you - forever worried that someone might be one upon on them. even when it comes to spam, they won't let it go because what if i miss out on the spam email that promises to enlarge my manhood by instead of inches metres and metres - my goodness, i would never leave the house again!

what if i miss out on the one life-affirming chain letter that will reward me with a lottery win and prevent me from being attacked by terrorists? what if i miss out on the one spam email which really let me mett the hot woman of my dreams? you know, just that one email, not the thousands that came before by the next one, that's the one that i don't want to miss.

unthinkable, that's what.

so spammers of the world, unite! you may be persecuted and hated all over the world, but here, we've got people rooting for you. viva spammers! DEAD DEAD DEAD