i think i give into things way too easily. don't be me. it's dumb. it's not worth it. it sucks. i try hard to please everyone until i realize i can't fucking please the world.

anywho i have so much to do. but right now i'm blogging so who really gives a fuck. come to think of it, who really gives a fuck about school anyway? well, I DO. obviously. but i wish i don't. my gawd, i have to do content project, c#, and citect exam, etc. welcome back to reality. its sad. drop outs are my idols. MY FUCKING IDOLS. i wish i was just like them but i'm too much of a coward. so it looks like i will be going back to NYP for a few more months and then few more years @ uni.

life is just like a candle and it just lasts as long as a candle and can easily end. how we are just actors on the stage that play a part but after the show is done no one knows who we are no one remembers us, it was just like a trend. a short trend that one follows but eventually ditches. and after generations, we become nothingness because no one on earth remembers us. i always hear people say: "next year i'll do this. blah blah" well you know what? what if next year doesn't come? and the year after won't either? what then. all i know is this very second i'm alive but what happens next? im clueless.

sometimes i don't want to be a grown-up. i don't want to have too many obligations. i don't want responsibilties or deadlines. in prison, i wouldn't have to make any decisions. life would ve so simple. it's true that the beds don't look very comfortable. oh and the lack of privacy with the bathroom situation? i'd hate that. then again, they do have TV and a gym. i'd be in excellent shape, prolly better than now since i dont do any sports anymore. there is also the fact that the food is free. FREE FOOD always tastes the best. also, i don't have to keep up to date.i doubt i'd even wear a watch. the guards tell you to do everything. to me, it's excellent, meaning i'd never be late for an appointment ever again.

granted, it's prolly not all that it's cracked up to be. for one thing, i most likely would get into at least one fight even though i kept minded on my own business. so i'd definately have to be tough in prison. i would probably start lifting weight. also think about how many great friends i would make. LIFELONG friends.i'd be sure not to make any friends who were in for petty theft. it would be too hard on me to lose them when they get paroled. if i did make friends who were in for smalltime crimes, hopefully they would be repeat offenders. then every time they'd get released i could look forward to seeing them in near future.

i'd be less stresses because i wouldn't have all the pressures. without the stress, i'd prolly look better too though who cares about how you look? you're in prison. i have nothing to do all day long. i supposed i'd have to make my own bed. but it's cot. how long could that take? two minues? then i've got another twenty three hours and fifty eight minutes of no obligations, no responsibilities and no deadlines. prison makse so much sense. it seems like i'm the only one who has figured it out.