this post is long overdued. how's it been ya'll? i haven't been writing because i comtemplated what to write, and as i repeatedly came and went upon blogger I would become stupidified. it's so hard for me to write and explain out in detail what exactly is going on in my life. but then again i always work hard to make sure what i'm writing is authentic and fun to read.

a few years ago, i was transitioning from secondary to poly and I was about to finish one journey and start another. as i rapidly approach my last year of poly I begin to wonder what life opportunities await me. in so many ways i'm terrified of what could happen in the future.

Future. such an uncertainty about it that it makes me try to catch up to it before it is too late. i'm going to be twenty soon and there is so much uncertainty in my life. am i to go on to US and further my study to take on the dreams of becoming a big time journalist or even rockin programmer. i still haven't decided what i really want to do with my life but it doesn't matter too much... not yet at least. on one hand I could finish what I need to finish here in poly and develope a new life some where else. and on the other hand, which weighs very heavily right now, i could just finish my academic career and start looking for a job. immediate money means immediate gradification. hence, money isn't everything... so this option has been resolved to some extent.

i want to have an admirable career with something that is well respected in the communityand my parents eyes. while on the other hand, i just want to lead a simple life with simply job and simple pay with simple family. out of so many choices that i have, to become a full time prostitute would not be one's wisest choice.

i wouldn't mind becoming a professor and gradually build up my intelligence to that of an evil dictator (*randomly thinks back to Pinky and the Brain*).

ever since god-know-when I truly have become a fan for WRITERS, journalists, whomever that rocks at writing good piece of article. journalists are good people, most of the time, that just work insane amounts of hours. the hours are incredible, working some 80-90 hours a week, while earning little more then nothing for the first few years. then again, if you are good at what you do the profession can take you many places. but that is with any profession you decide to do in life, it is just a matter of how much will and luck you have to further yourself from the current position you are in. four years of journalism course isn't a walk in the park. yet the profession would satisfy me with my will to want to learn more about the world, but with this profession i don't think i could travel as much as i plan on doing in my life. i haven't heard of many journalists going on a business trip to Egypt to study the way of the land. then again, I have been known to be wrong from time to time.

i really think what i want out of life is to keep learning. does this mean learning from an instituational environment or does it mean to learn simply from a book I pick up at Borders? for some odd reason i have always loved to read something, whether it be a magazine in Playboy or an actual book. i read every night before I could fall asleep under the light in my room drifting off into worlds far from my own reality. that would explain why my vision is so crappy now, but still i'm far smarter than I ever would have been just watching television every night. granted, thru this web journal tonight i have resolved some of the issues at hand. i have six months to figure out what I want to do, but six months isn't a whole lot of time either.

in other news :
my brother is here in singapore. i've been accompanying him alot these past 2 days.
tomorrow im going back to school (suckness) to play tennis (yayness).
i'm listening to james blunt songs (thanks uds).
famous amous cookies are still the best.