I never want to be perceived as someone ungrateful, who wishes to complain all the time, for the sake of attention or sympathy, I never want to be perceived as something I'm not, I never want to be perceived as angry, sad, and wasting away. And maybe that is exactly what i am, or exactly what I'm not because in the end I don't really know who I am anyways. Maybe the point of this life is to try to find who I am, but if I am a creation of my own, if I am the one that is suppose to make myself into someone then why does it matter anyway? Who really cares who I am, if this is only for the sake of myself, then I am sick of it. I don't need to soul search, because it doesn't matter at all. I am tired, exhausted to the very depth of my bones, I am worn out from the people that walk upon this earth. I am tired of doing things for people, I am tired of helping, I am tired of speaking such sugar coated words it even makes myself cringe because of the false underlying meaning of them. I always want to be the good person, the one to make people happy or put a smile on their faces, but watching these faces after all these times i have come to realize that no matter what i do, I cannot erase a permanant frown. These days have been dull, they have been a blur, they have been mindless as if my very existance makes no difference. Maybe I'm wrong. Yet again. Maybe I am right. Very right.

LIFE IS FUCKING UNFAIR

I was happy, I was fine, I was amazing, I was in one perfect fucking place in my life for once. and *SNAPS* things changed. This time, it will be dunzo. Dreams are shattered. All over. Dead.