a luscious day. today i woke up to the day of my bday. thats right the day i was born and made the world beautiful. today was the ultimate day. i love this day, i love my family, i love my friends, i love my music, i love myself, i love you! FINALLY. yep. FINALLY the big 20 has hit me. *sighs* one year short to watch RA show. wow. 20. i've been telling those peeps who have been 20 that they are OLD and now, unfortunately, i have to cross over to the other side and being OLD too. let's face it 20 is old. it is especially old if you have tons of things you want to do in your life but you haven't done it. for all you know that you might die tomorrow. on friday, i wasn't in the mood of celebrating my birthday. i was just in the bad mood. but i had a long chat on MSN with my indo fren and it hit me when she asked me what i want from life.

i have lived for 20 years. long enough to decide what i want in my life. i thought for a minute about the right way to respond her but finally settled on "i don't know." pretty sad huh? i am a man with no ambition. but the matter of fact is, we, asians, especially me, who lives in such a conservative family, do not have much say in my own life. everything is planned for me. whatever i plan will most prolly be gone down the drain. so i guess as i grow up, i got tired of planning and hence, i guess i dont plan for my future anymore.

anyway, well i dragged my ass to school on friday really didnt want to go. not expecting a fantaboulous day. and its reasons such as that, the time i love to prove myself wrong. and wrong i was. same old same old morning but for no reason at all i loved it. well the rest of the afternoon went by quite fast, and before i knew it it was after school. so off to my birthday bash. that day was most prolly one of the bestest day in my whole life. well. i want to thank, uds, ifah, ndee, luyan and pei'er to celebrate my birthday really. thank you so much. we had a simple meal, and yet the companions that made the dinner fun. so we had dinner at this cafe called "i forgot what" but anyway, uds and ifah were late so i was kinda whining as i was hungry and so off we ordered food. then the two ladies came and apologized then cut the story short. ifah, out of nowhere, took out a present for me then suddenly uds and ndee (plus luyan and peier) gave me their gifts. i was very shocked. i didn't expect presents but i love presents so i was ecstatic.

well we talked and laughed and talked and laughed and laughed and just couldn't stop laughing. it was pure funness. after that, we just hung around the boat quay (sp?) area and got some healthy drinks from 7-11 and sat down and play CHARADES. guess we were making lots of noises cause it was raining and everyone stood on the shelter that we played. we were pretty much shouting and laughing like there's no tomorrow.

then had another celebration with my secondary friends. christy, kelly and a new fren, shuyu. they tried to prank me. but of course being a smartass that i am, they failed miserably lmao. they asked her new friend to act like she was interested in me. oh man. haha. lamers. (andy, you should recruit them). we were at chinatown and they ORDERED tons of food. their treat of course lol. but there were lots of food and since i was the only guy, i had to consume more but turned out, even after i ate tons, there were still tons left. (can u imagine now how much food there were). so we played game where the losers had to eat whatever we put on the plate. another moments of funness. so when the game ended, they asked me to get drinks. and when i came back (though kelly had to escort me to walk around first before going back to the table), they got me a slice of brownies from coffee bean. i don't know where they kept it though. but yeah that was sweet.

i always wondered what it would be like if my friends moved away. i think about how i would be so sad without them because they are everything about me. i think about how much i would miss them. for a moment. for a moment when i need someone and i know they're not there. i don't want to go through that moment again. when first i came to singapore, where i had to leave my longlife friends. it was tough moments. i like the feeling of security. i like the feeling of comfort. i like it when people hug me. it makes me feel ok. it lets me know i'm alright. and we all need that reassurance once in awhile.

i got lotsa "happy birthday"'s today and though this may seem like quite the boring day. i thought i was a beautiful day. lotsa people called/emailed/msn'ed/texted me to wish me a happy birthday so thanks to those people who wished me birthday. for those who haven't treated me and got me presents, you have only a few days left to do so. haha. this has been hell of fantastic three days! ITS MY BIRTHDAY ! i dont want this day to end but it's going to end. tomorrow. i'm going to start whining about how old i am already.