thanks for the wish peeps. my work place is kinda far. somewhere @ tampines. i know, it's damn fucking far. but a boy gotta do a boy gotta do. i've said yes to the company and i have to be responsible and do my job there. so fuck other jobs, because, as you know, my job will rock. wait for my new update about my job when i start next week. it's going to be a blast. i hope it will. it can't be any worse than sitting in my room doing nothing, right? i hope it won't. oh btw, i'm officially the trainee software engineer for nucleus software.

so as i sit here in my room, in the silence i have been thinking a lot about my life and how it has changed. a long time ago, i really dreaded when i was becoming 20. the number 20 made me feel old, and that life was slipping at a remarkably fast pace while i was doing nothing for most of the time. now that the big 2-0 has passed for a couple of months now, i really don't have any negative or positive reactions about it. i'm 20, no big deal. really.

i've come to realize that many times life has lessons that are best learned through experience. a few things seem to have changed for the better, and i'm grateful for that. i figure that, with all that i have going on right now in my life, there are some things that are out of my hands. sometimes, you can only go along with what you have, when changing something isn't an option, you just have to wait and see what happens. and enjoy life while it's happening, too.

i keep realizing more and more how much bigger the picture truly is. we are but tiny pieces in the puzzle that makes up our city, our nation, our world. it's funny that no matter what happens here, you can travel for an hour, and life is still going on. people continue to live through these menial travesties in our lives that happen locally, and very few things ever can affect a great number of people. i almost wished some sort of tragedy occurred, so that people (yes, i am included) can realize how trivial some of the things that truly shake our world are. whether we are hurt by friends, family, loved ones, or people we don't even know, the sun will continue to rise and fall; the stars will still shine; the earth will continue turning, and the creatures shall continue growing. although our hearts might ache, everyone could do some good in taking a step back every once in a while to re-evaluate what makes them so bitter or so angry. chances are, with a little thought and time, most of our problems will disappear. of course the cycle shall continue in another minute of another day of another month, but for that fleeting moment, we are at peace with all of those who've done us wrong. we thrive on this chaos, because we feel it gives us purpose, when our true purpose is to live and love.

yeah whatever, there goes my rant again.