upon reading someone else's journal entry i thought it would be wise for me to to write another boring entry. this is annoying to me because for some reason i'll go days without writing anything and then three days straight i have 2 entries each day. i humor myself and maybe that is why my life is so boring.

there is a point every once and a while where i begin to feel like the world around me has become too much to handle. either the complexity of school or the simple task that i experience day in and day out. right now, i feel on the verge of collapsing and i don't know what to do about it. it's this feeling of uncertainty, where i walk around with this sense of emptiness. funny how i used to think that i always knew the answer to everything. my arrogance was so indestructible.

why can't people just accept the fact that some days i'll be a bitch, some days i'll spazz at you, some day i'll have a shitty day and that i'm not fuckin happy go lucky all the time? why can't people just be my gawddamn friend no matter what mood i'm in and accept my bitchy side and everything in between? after all i am not perfect and never said i ever will be. so either get up and accept my flaws or stay the fuck away from me. i don't get you. don't ask questions. just deal with it.

it's hard to please everyone in this fucking world so i'm not even going to try. it's not that i mean to make others feel like shit. but when i constantly feel like shit 24/7 then what the hell do u expect from me anyways? i dont mean to make you feel insignificant and i would never try to pull down someone to as low as i feel. yet absentmindedly somehow i manage to make everyone feel like fuck. and since you won't be taking the time to stand in my spot i'll tell you the answer. you cant.

we are all so shallow at heart, it's just a matter of what our standards are. but we all want something that we can never get. you know that feeling of sucess that you hold when you think you have finally achieve something you were never meant to achieve, only to realize later on that it was a load of bullshit. you obtain glory, pride and hope yet you always have that sense of doubt, that hint of fear of failure which eventually finally releases itself unblinding you and open you up to the reality. you thought you were finally going somewhere with life but you were only walking in place. that's how i feel at the moment.

everything is so wrong at the moment. i'm not talking fypj perse cause everyone has been complaining about it, but face it, life is more than fypj. you see me happy every god damn day, doesn't mean i'm feeling happy inside. no. life is never 24/7 happy. life is never fair.