i am ready to get up and face reality again. and this time around i think it will be alright. there will always be illusions in life whether they may be obvious or completely subtle. an illusion of friends, or happiness, or tragedy, whatever it is, there will always be something that lingers in front of you, an attempt to trick you and most of the time it works. if anything the days have taught me that you never know who you are dealing with because half the time they don't even know themselves. i guess sometimes you will always be there for someone, but only until you snap out of your world do you realize that they are never there for you. and this imbalance is too much for the mind. so how do i know that these days are going to be alright, and that everything will be fine again? because if i don't believe in these illusions, they cannot hurt me. they don't exist. i am whoever you want me to be.

i think one thing that this attachment taught me is to be patient. and also at the same time, patience does have a limit. i think i'm on the verge of breaking out of the patience and ready to fuck some people. watch out for it and if it doesn't happen in next two weeks time, that means, i have gone through a living hell. and i'm sorry to say this, but if people think my job is easy and no kick and no sweat and relaxed, you can kiss my flat ass cause i don't know how on earth sitting in front of computer is more painful than my job. so shut it already.

one joke to end the post.

"She saw me. She buzzed around me. She looked at me. She sat on me. She bit me. She sucked me. She swallowed. And then she just got up and left. Fucking mosquito!" HAH.