this is my 4th attempt just trying to write one entry in my blog for today, and it has never been more difficult. excuse this if it terribly written. the hardest part is trying to disect my emotions and speculate them, because honestly, i really don't know what i am feeling. a part of me loves it, a part of me hates it, a part of me is so sure, a part of me regrets, a part of me cries, a part of me laughs, a part of me lives, and a part of me dies. figure that.

looks like we're all growing up.. well for me, it feels just like i'm getting older but not really growing at all. i miss the simpler days and i've said it a million times before, and in ten years i'll probably miss these days: going to school and hanging out and talking and having fun and laughing with friends.

many people with university educations end up working a job that they're totally overqualified for yet they stick with it. why? because they want get that highschool feeling again, a job with no responsibility and just enough money to keep you crawling back for more. if you work as an office worker where sucking up and backstabbing are highly needed, you don't have fun, you take the job too seriously, and i guess i would too if i needed that money to feed myself. i do like to grow up.. or not.

i'm going back to indo this week. i dont fucking care about the dt job. they thought that i am fucking desperate for that fucking job. well guess what? yes. i am. haha. but i think i just shall face the fact that i ain't getting the job. so i shall go back and have a little fun before really stepping into working world.