i can think and decipher, consider and know. i could find and know truth better than anyone, but without action all my efforts to know truth are in vein. i speak and speak put forth ideas that might be grand, but do i act? no. i sit and do nothing. i feel stagnant and who i've become is like a one of a kind device that has been collecting dust. my life should be a testament to who i am. not my thoughts and ideas, but what i do. life is in control of me, when i should be controlling it. i have somehow come to the point where i view the things i want to do as impossibilities and put my dreams on the back burner to feasibility. well i don't want a mediocre life. i don't want to view the things i want as impossible and abandonment of my dreams as "life." Hhw did i lose my drive and focus? how was my unconquerable spirit taken away? how can i get these things back?

i need a new starting point. and new ideas about what is attainable.